Thursday, January 5, 2012

03jan2012

So the new year has come upon us an i am ready to hit the ground running. Goals this year make 1st class, get my associates, pay my car off and get my home and financials together. Well David s still david. I dont think that he will ever understand what i really ask of him. i love him but not at therisk of my emotional and mental status. New years eve he wanted to get one last __ in and i told him no tthat i want to come into the new year knowingwhat i want ans no longer being confused about us. And the first step is to not Have sex with him until (if ever) we are reconected with each other. So his response was.."lets got make love". Really he just doesnt get it. On a happier note. I picked up my ship borther yesterday. I havent seen him in 3 years but always kept in contact with him. Boy it was so nice to see a familiar face. sometimes i dont feel as if i dont have the freindship and comradery. The poeple on CVN69 knew me and still were my friend for better and for worse. i could be myself and not worry what poeple were going to think, which i shouldnt worry about that, but in reality everyone does. But he is going to come over and visit on friday can't wait. so i have another year here at the hospital and  i dont know what i am going to do. dont know....i am just going totake day by day. and worry about myself and refoucus. I got caught up in everyone elses things that i forgot about myself. the word for today is FOCUS  well until tomorrow i guess i didnt really have to much to say today.

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